Voodoo DOOM!
by Ayumi Elric
Summary: Mysterious box of voodoo dolls. And none other then Roy Mustang gets it first. Sheer madness as Roy discovers the power of making people do ANYTHING HE DAMN WANTS!
1. Miniskirts and Making out

**KYAH!!! NEW FANFIC, ZOMG!!!!**

**Got the idea from the Risembool Ranger chat. RED DAWN!!**

**Voodoo dolls are just awesome. That's why I write whole fanfic dedicated to there doomness!**

**Disclaimer: -being controlled by voodoo doll- A-ayumi Elric is not in possession of FMA, but she will be. You have b-been warned. –flops to ground twitching like it's being stuck with needles-**

**-----LIIIIIIIIIIIINE!!!!!-**

It was a strange day indeed. Someone has sent a whole box of plushies to Roy Mustang.

Roy was puzzled. Why the hell did he get a box of plushies?!

He looked around, then opened the box. First plushie he saw was an Edo plushie.

"Oh, greeeeat." Roy muttered, picking it up. He got an evil thought, and from his desk pulled out a tiny plushie sized miniskirt. Don't ask me why he has this.

He started taking off the plushie's pants, and on went the miniskirt. "Hmmm, looking good Fullmetal."

_**In Risembool, at the Elrics…**_

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! ED, TAKE THAT OFF **NOW!!!**" Ayumi screamed, pointing to Ed in horror, who was wearing a miniskirt.

Ed's eyes were dull. He blinked. "GAH!! WHY AM I WEARING THIS!!" He yelled, tugging at the miniskirt. He looked at Ayumi, horror in his eyes. "It won't come off!"

"KYAH!! THE HORROR!" Ayumi screamed, covering her mouth. She glared at the accursed miniskirt. "Hold on to something." She demanded.

"Huh?" Ed asked.

"HOLD ON TO SOMETHING, DAMMIT! I'M PULLING IT OFF!!" Ayumi yelled, her eyes glowing in anger.

"Eeep." Ed squeaked. He held onto the couch.

Ayumi grabbed Ed's miniskirt and started pulling. In seconds, Ed was desperately clinging to the couch, completely horizontal in the air, as Ayumi pulled madly.

"IT WON'T COME OOOFFFF!!!" Ayumi yelled.

Ed lost his grip, and they both went crashing into a wall.

_**And back in Central…**_

Roy had gotten bored of the Edo plushie, and had moved on to a Riza and Roy plushie.

"Oh Colonel Mustang, you so cuuute! I love you so much!" Roy made the Riza plushie say, clinging it to the Roy plushie.

"So, you finally fallen for my charms, haven't you Riza?"

"Oh yes Roy! I love you so much…be with me!"

"Of course! Shall we screw each other at about…8:00 tonight?"

"I'll be waiting with whipped cream, my love." He made Riza plushie make out with Roy plushie and prance out of the room.

Roy sighed dreamily. "Wouldn't it be awesome to really have that conversation?" He said aloud.

Just then…

Riza burst into the room. Her eyes were dull, looking hypnotized. "Oh Colonel Mustang, you so cuuuute. I love you so much!" She exclaimed, clinging to Roy.

Roy blinked. "So…you finally fallen for my charms, haven't you Riza?" He recited.

"Oh yes Roy! I love you so much…be with me!"

"Of course! Shall we screw each other at about…8:00 tonight?" Roy asked, excitement in his voice.

"I'll be waiting with whipped cream, my love." Riza made out with him and pranced out of the room.

Roy stared after her, then lifted up the box of plushies with tears of joy running down his face. "THANK YOU!!!" He shouted to the ceiling.

**---LIIIIIIIIIINE, EEEEEEE!!!---**

**Okay, that was random. Buuut, it had to be done. And if not by me, then by who???! Dun answer that. Anyway, REVIEW!! They make me feel so good…and I like counting them! Not the bad ones though, I ignore those.**

**MUFFINS!!!**


	2. Nekos and ATTACK OF THE PLUSHIES!

**Yay, my mom let me on the computer again to update! But not before she made me wear my special white jacket for another hour. _Again._ It gets boring after a while, just hugging yourself. There's nothing else to do but roll around on the ground laughing hysterically.**

**Disclaimer: Ayumi doesn't own FMA, OR voodoo dolls, at least, we should hope not. –shot and hung-**

**---STRAIGHTJACKETSAREFUUUUUUUUN!---**

Roy hummed happily to himself, signing a paper or two before looking back at his porno magazine. He had had a _very_ good night. Naked women, whipped cream, ah, what fun.

After about 5 minutes, he bored of whatever he was going, and whipped out the cardboard box again. He opened it, carefully taking every plushie out. He came across a Dante plushie. "Ew, why do I have this? Sure, she's hot, but her boobs are all rotten. Not fun." He said, tossing it out a window and into open traffic.

_**Somewhere in the depths of the underground city thingy under Central…**_

"WAHAHAHAHAHA, THE PHILOSOPHER'S STONE WILL BE MINE!" Dante shouted in triumph before she was raised in the air and thrown out a window. "What the hell?!" She said in shock as she fell into open traffic and was run over multiple times. **(Gomen nesai, I just hate Dante. –scowl-)**

_**Back at Roy's office…**_

At the bottom of the box, Roy saw something weird. He pulled it out. It was a small purple platform marked THE STAGE in large yellow letters.

"What the?!" Roy muttered, staring at it. He flipped it over and read the instructions written. _'To use the Stage, place your voodoo plushies onto the Stage, and watch as the plushies mimic the person they were made to look like.'_ It read.

"Huh." Roy said, setting it aside. He'll try it later. He picked up the Ed plushie and stared at it. "Hmm…"

5 minutes later, Roy was sewing on the finishing touches to the cat plushie. A pair of neko ears, whiskers and a tail. He laughed, setting it aside. He couldn't wait for tomorrow, when he saw Ed walk into his office to hand in his report as a neko.

_**In Risembool, at the Elric domain…**_

"OMG, ED, YOU LOOK SOOOO KYOOOOOOT!!!!" Ayumi squealed, clinging to Ed.

"Let go!" Ed yelled, trying to pull her off.

"TOO CUTE, TOO CUTE!! SQUEE!" Ayumi fangirled.

"What do you mean?" Ed asked, looking puzzled. He dragged Ayumi into the bathroom (she refused to let him go) and stared at himself in the mirror. "HOLY **CRAP**!"

"KITTY ED!"

"Ayumi, shut up!" Ed yelled. He stared at himself again, pulling down on his new kitty ears. "Why did this have to happen to me?" He whined, dragging himself and Ayumi out of the bathroom and into the hall.

"Brother, I'm home." Al said, opening the door and walking in. He stared at Ed. "Brother…?"

"Um…"

"OMG, BROTHER!" Al squealed, rushing to him. He patted his head. "Nice kitty, hee hee."

"Aaaaalllll." Ed whined, tears at the edge of his eyes.

"I'm kidding!" Al said. He looked around cautiously, then held up some string. "Here, kitty kitty!" He waved it high over his head, standing on the couch arm.

"Mow!" Ed exclaimed, his golden kitty eyes wide with excitement. He started jumping up at the string, trying to catch it. (by then Ayumi let go)

_**And back in Central…**_

Roy was starting to get bored again. He had just finished sewing Ayumi into another neko but with bunny ears and a playboy bunny outfit, Lust into a bathing suit, Riza into a miniskirt, Envy into a teenage girl (o.O…), and Armstrong without his muscles.

After all this plushie action, Roy got bored again, and started on his paperwork again.

_**10 minutes later…**_

Roy was sleeping on his desk, drooling slightly and probably dreaming about naked women.

"Hey, Colonel Bastard, meow."

Roy groaned in his sleep. "Just five more minutes Mommy…" He murmured.

"What the hell Mustang?! Wake up, meow!" An automail fist came in contact with his head.

"Ow!" Roy sat up and rubbed his head sorely.

"About time you woke up, meow! You almost drooled on me!"

Roy blinked, looking around. "Ed? That you?"

"Who else would it be, meow?" A little plushie Ed pulled itself from under Roy's arm, still modified as a little kitty.

He gawked at the plushie. "What the!"

Plushie Ed tilted his head at Roy. "Mew?"

"How'd you do that?! You're moving! And talking!" Roy shouted, scooting back from his chair. That plushie _must_ be haunted.

"And meowing, thanks to you." Plushie Ed said gruffly, tugging at its kitty ears. "Why the hell did I have to be the neko, meow?!"

"Ayumi is one too, kinda." Roy shrugged. "So…how do you do it?"

"It's the magic of voodoo plushies, Roy. Mow." Ed said matter-of-factly. He pointed his plushie…paw at the box. "All of them can move." The box started shaking as the other plushies sprung to life.

"Hey?! Let us out, it's cramped in here!"

"Ow! Ayumi, stop kicking my balls!"

"Psh, yo balls ain't real, foo!"

"Brother, you there? Help us!"

"Coming Al, meow!" Plushie Ed said, pouncing on top of the box and pulling the top down. The plushies all started climbing out of the box.

"That was _not_ comfortable." Complained Plushie Ayumi, glaring up at Roy.

"Woah, Mustang's _huge_!" Plushie Al gasped, catching sight of him.

"I know, meow." Plushie Ed nodded knowingly, folding his little arms.

Roy stared at them all walking around his desk. So many plushies! Why did the cast of FMA have to be that big?

The plushies started huddling together, speaking in hushed whispers and throwing glances at Roy over their shoulders.

"?" Roy watched them, looking confused.

When they finished, Plushie Ed stepped up. "Ahem, sorry about this Mustang. Meow." He said, coughing a bit.

"Why?" Roy asked.

"Well…um…some of the plushies think you've been abusing your power over the Voodoo magic, meow." Plushie Ed started.

"Damn straight!" Plushie Riza interrupted. "He made me have sex with him! NOTHING! I REPEAT, NOTHING! Will make that better! And then, he made me wear a miniskirt on top of that!"

"_And_ he put Ed in a skirt and turned him into a neko, mew!" Plushie Ayumi said. "Plus made me a bunny neko thingy!"

"And made me wear a bathing suit." Plushie Lust said. "Although, I _do_ look fabulous!"

"My strength…GONE!" Sobbed Plushie Armstrong, crying his plushie eyes out.

"Oh, and don't forget what he did to Dante." Plushie Al pointed out.

"Yeah, but everyone hates her, meow." Plushie Ed said, making all the plushies nod with agreement.

"He lyke, turned me into a girl!" Plushie Envy said, stomping his…or her foot. "I mean, really! And he gave me lyke, melons for a freaking chest." She pouted.

Plushie Ed sighed. "Meow, yeah, he did all that but-"

"Think of what he could do next! Roy's _evil_ with voodoo power, but he's too stupid to realize what he could really do with it, mew!" Plushie Ayumi screamed. "Power and stupidity make a _baaad_ combo!"

"OKAY, FINE!" Plushie Ed yelled, making the other plushies silent. "Meow, we get it! Okay Roy, to make this short, you've abused your power over the voodoo magic, and now you lose it."

Roy sighed. "Oh well, it was fun while it lasted."

Plushie Ed neko smiled. (you know, like the smileys like this?:3 Yeah, that kinda smile.) "Mow, to make sure you won't tell anybody-"

"Oh, don't worry. I won't." Roy said quickly.

"Ha! Like we can believe you, mew." Plushie Ayumi laughed.

Plushie Ed sighed. "Meow…Look Roy, you can do this the easy way or the hard way.."

"What do you mean?!" Roy jumped up and stared at the plushies.

"We're gonna freaking kill you, that's what!" Plushie Envy shouted. "And you deserve it, you man-whore!"

"WHAT?!" Roy yelled.

"CHARGE!" Plushie Ayumi yelled.

Roy screamed and ran from the desk, as the whole FMA Cast Plushies pounced at him. Most missed and hit the floor. Plushie bullets whizzed past his head.

"Hurry, meow!" Plushie Ed yelled, clinging to Roy's hair.

The plushies swarmed around Roy, starting to limb up his pant leg.

"GAH! GET OFF, GET OFF!" Roy yelled frantically.

"MYAHAHAHAHA!!!" Plushie Ayumi yelled, clapping her paws together and transmuting the floor into straps that bound themselves to Roy.

Roy shrieked, wobbling before tripping on a Tucker Plushie and falling.

"Go!" The plushies started tying Roy to the ground.

Roy thrashed as best as he could, trying to get free. On the desk, Plushie Kiyoko and Plushie Rei watched interestingly.

"Kiyoko! Help!"

"Ooooh, I dunno." Plushie Kiyoko said in singsong. She stuck out her tongue. "I don't need you, I got Plushie Roy." She ran off.

"I wanna help!" Plushie Rei said, jumping off the desk and helping to bring Roy down.

"By the power invested in me, King of the FMA voodoo plushies, I sentence Roy Mustang…to death! Meow!" Plushie Ed declared. "Scar, will you do the honors, meow?"

"Sure." Plushie Scar said, flexing his mucho plushie arm. He climbed up Roy's jacket and smiled evilly.

"Wait! It's law that you have to give me a last request!" Roy screamed frantically.

Plushie Ed sighed. "Fine, what, meow?"

"Let me live!"

"Hell no, request denied, meow."

"Awww." Roy looked at Plushie Riza. "Sex then?"

"Hell no!" Plushie Riza screamed.

"Damn." Roy sighed.

"Kill him, mew!" Ayumi cheered.

Plushie Scar nodded, grabbing Roy's head. His plushie arm glowed with plushie transmutation. And then….**BOOM!**

"GYAAAAAAAAH!!" Roy screamed, thrashing around on his desk. He sat up quickly, looking around and sighing in relief. "Only a dream…"

"Finally you woke up, meow."

"GAAH!" Roy screamed, jumping back.

Ed blinked. "What, meow?"

Roy blinked. "Ed…you're…"

"A cat, yes I know." Ed tugged down on his kitty ears. "I don't know what happened."

"Oh…" Roy made sure his voodoo plushies were safely hidden. "That's too bad…where's Ayumi?" He added brightly.

"Outside…" He shrugged. "Kinda got mobbed by fanboys and whatnot, meow."

"Ah, okay." Roy said, sighing. He wanted to see Ayumi as a bunny girl.

-

**Yay, I gots writer's block so I'm stopping here. X3 That was really randim, but I had an urge to turn Ed into a kitty. Then make all the plushies attack Roy. MYAHAHA! Please review for more Voodoo DOOM!**


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